Off Topic Forum

I am still trying to get my head around the fact that "take out" can refer to food, dating, or murder.



•The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.


•Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the 'cool table' in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.


•You know you're over 50 when you have 'upstairs ibuprofen' and 'downstairs ibuprofen'.


• How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life when (1) the rabbit is always jumping but only lives for around two years and (2) the turtle that doesn't exercise at all and lives up to 200 years. So, rest, chill, eat, drink, and enjoy life

•I woke up this morning determined to drink less, eat right, and exercise. But that was four hours ago -- when I was younger and full of hope.



•The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot.


•When a kid says, "Daddy, I want Mommy," that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."



•It's weird being the same age as old people.


•Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."



•Last night we celebrated with a couple of adult beverages: Metamucil and Ensure.


•You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.


•Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.


•Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor



•For those of you who don't want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, a male version is in the prototype stages: It doesn't listen to anything.


•I just got a present labelled 'From Mom and Dad,' and I know darn well Dad has no idea what's inside.


•Someone said, "Nothing rhymes with orange." I said, "No, it doesn't."


•There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

---

My 1958 MGA is not a car, it's a CAREER..!! ...

You forgot "the trash".

Thanks Ahmed, the true purpose for Off Topics existence.

---

Chris Howells

1968 MGB Purchased already dis-assembled but which is largely back together so I'm a lot less ignorant.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Who was the cruel person who decided to call it a lisp?

---

Eric Russell ~ Mebane, NC
1961 MGA #61, 1981 Alfa Romeo GTV6, 1984 Alfa Romeo Spider, 1991 Honda ST1100