These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)

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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum.. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Indeed (and nobody is allowed to take this to Snopes)

Mostly correct.
We have a saying in Oz "If you never go you will never ever know"....which ones above are true or false.

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David

1960 MGA 1600 Convertible,
Gold Coast, Australia.
The 5,791 Day Restoration

The CycleKart Club - Forums and more for builders & racers of home-built 200cc vintage-styled karts.

Standing naked in Kings Cross listening to the Vienna Boys Choir just after the Hippo racing finished was a bit of a yawn actually, no need for Snopes.

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Chris Howells

1968 MGB Purchased already dis-assembled which is why I'm often ignorant about what some parts are, and even more ignorant of where they go.

Naked... ha, you got stung. I wore budgie smugglers!

I know what a budgie is and I know what a smuggler is, but what, pray tell, is a "budgie smuggler" ???

If the answer to Jacks question is a good one it could be added to the list above.

Get your thinking caps on lads.

You're right. It really happens on Thursday night, just after the Drag racing

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1979 Roadster (Big Red) daily driver.
unknown GT somewhere in the future.
09 Accent

Don't got to bed made - stay up all night plotting revenge

Think - if you were a smuggler and trying to smuggle budgies (budgerigars) through customs, where would you try to hid them so their shape would blend in with the garments other contents and you've got your answer.

I'm not suggesting it's a smart place to hide them or comfortable either - budgies bite.

Famous budgie smugglers:



Oops, political content!

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Chris, and I love my overdrive!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2012 09:47AM by sweep.

Ewwwwwww I am trying to get to sleep and posted that picture of THE BUDGIE SMUGGLERS!!!

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Eric Russell ~ Mebane, NC
1960 MGA, 1981 Alfa Romeo GTV6, 1984 Alfa Romeo Spider, 1991 Honda ST1100